To Be Herself
by randomklainer
Summary: Unique has already transitioned when she arrives at McKinley. What could life look like for her if she's not being plagued by transphobia?


**I've been rewatching Glee, and I was shocked to realise that the majority of things said to/about Unique were transphobic. With trans representation getting better over the last few years, it got me thinking about what her storyline could have been like. This won't be perfect (I'm white and transmisogyny exempt) but, by virtue of being trans, I'm pretty confident that I've done a better job than the show writers. **

Unique is running Grease lines with Marley when the realisation hits her. She really gets to play Rizzo. As Marley stumbles her way through remembering her lines, Unique begins to cry.

"What's wrong?" Marley asks. "I wasn't that bad, was I?"

Unique shakes her head as she tries to smile through the tears. "I just still can't believe that I get to play Rizzo."

"Why? You're so incredibly talented."

Suddenly, the moment she's been dreading is upon her – she's going to have to tell a classmate the truth. "I'm trans."

"Oh." Said as if she can't quite understand the significance.

"I didn't know if I'd ever be able to play a woman onstage," Unique explains. "Not without people seeing me as some sort of crossdresser. So to play the role I've dreamt of since I was a little girl – " The tears return.

Marley hugs her. "You're going to be the best Rizzo they've ever seen."

"You best believe."

Marley lets go of her, returns to her script. Unique picks her own script up, ready to continue practising, to let this moment be over. Marley, however, isn't quite there.

"I know this was a big deal," she says, "telling me. I want you to know that your secret's safe with me."

"Are you going to ask anyone to the dance?" Marley asks Unique once she's explained her plan for asking Jake.

Unique shrugs her shoulders. It's tempting, it's really tempting, but she's just not sure.

"Who would you ask?" Marley continues. "Someone in glee club?"

"Maybe."

Marley grabs hold of her arm, excited now. "We could do the number together."

"I'll think about it," Unique promises.

But before she can make a decision, Celeste has already asked Ryder to the dance. And he was the only one that she had any interest in asking.

But maybe it's for the best. Going with Ryder would mean telling him that she's trans. It doesn't seem fair to keep that secret from him, not when it could be such a big dealbreaker. But she would much rather remain stealth.

She still has some internalised transphobia to work through, she knows that. The only thing is that she isn't sure which thing is the issue – whether it's wanting to hide being transgender, or whether it's feeling like she owes the others the truth.

It's still early days though, Unique reminds herself. Still plenty of time to get past all of this. It's only been six months since she started transitioning.

At first, when she performed as a woman with Vocal Adrenaline, it felt like a really big deal. But by the time nationals came around, Unique was over having her identity reduced to a gimmick and a political statement. She just wanted to be herself – all the time – without having to deal with anyone else's opinion.

When she got home from nationals, she showed her parents a video of the performance, explained that she was actually a woman. Fortunately they were on board, so she spent the summer transitioning, discovering what it was like to live as her true self constantly.

When the new school year rolled around, Unique started at McKinley, no different from any of the other girls within the school's walls. Sure, it was a little awkward having the returning glee members know that she was trans – especially when they got her pronouns wrong – but it could have been worse. The entire school could have thought of her as a boy in a dress.

Unique has been having a rough week, unable to shake the sense that she's ashamed of being trans. It's made worse by Marley reiterating that she won't tell anyone, as if it's some dirty little secret. So when the theme of divas is introduced, Unique is relieved to have an outlet for all of this pent-up emotion.

"Guys can be divas too," Blaine is telling no one in particular.

Tina scoffs. "No they can't. Diva is a woman-only term."

"Oh, really?" Unique says, bristling at Tina's word choice. "And I suppose it's exclusively for cis women too?"

"Well, uhh – "

"Why would that even matter?" Kitty asks.

Unique stands ups, strides to the front of the classroom. "This is what a trans diva looks like." She turns to Brad. "Hit it."

It's not until the performance is over that Unique realises what she has just done.

"You're trans?" Kitty asks, voice filled with disbelief.

"Kitty, be nice," Marley warns.

"I am," Kitty insists. "I'm just surprised."

"We're not announcing this to the entire school though," Unique tells them all.

Everyone's quick to agree, and that's the end of the conversation. It's rather underwhelming in the end.

As the weeks go by, Unique begins to realise that she definitely has a crush on Ryder. The only issue is, she has no idea if he feels the same way. Sure, he's been super chill about her being trans, but being friends with someone who's trans is different to dating them.

There's only one option, Unique figures. She has to talk to him. But not as herself, no, that seems far too hard. She creates a fake account, replacing the picture of the generic blonde that she was going to use with a drawing of a unicorn at the last second. At least now she's not blatantly catfishing.

They're a week deep into conversation, and everything's going perfectly. Unique and Marley have arrived early for glee club, and Unique's given Marley her phone to read through the messages.

"This is adorable," Marley tells her as she continues to read.

"I know." Unique agrees. "I think we were made for each other."

"When are you going to tell him that it's you?"

Unique shrugs. "Maybe soon. I've already almost told him several times."

Before the conversation can continue any further, Ryder enters, face brightening when he sees them. Well, when he see Marley, Unique reminds herself. In response, she just glares. Sure, she may have a crush on the guy, but that doesn't mean that she's going to forgive him for kissing Marley. She has half a mind to confront him over it.

Except, when she does confront him, the world is suddenly imploding.

"Dude, back off," Ryder tells her.

"Who are you calling a dude? I am no dude." Somehow, she manages to keep the hurt out of her voice.

"Whoa." Ryder holds up his hands in surrender. "It's a gender-neutral term. I don't think you're a guy. Not really."

Unique decides to overlook the last comment, for now. "You're full of shit. It's absolutely a gendered term."

Ryder shakes his head. "Pretty sure I called Marley dude last week."

Unique just glares at him.

"I didn't mean anything by it. If you say that you're a girl, then you're a girl."

"How generous of you."

"I don't understand what I've done wrong here," Ryder says, tone defensive.

Unique wills herself to calm down. "I've spent my whole life being told that I'm a guy," she says, an explanation that Ryder doesn't deserve. "Words like dude bring me right back to that, even if that's not what you intended."

"Oh."

"So even if you kind of still see me as a guy, I'd appreciate if you didn't call me dude." She turns and walks away.

"Unique – " Ryder calls after her. "That's not what – "

Unique just keeps walking, too hurt by the knowledge that Ryder will never truly see her as a girl, as someone he could date.

Unique is excited to be doing a Spice Girls performance. Sure, when Brittany told her that she couldn't be Scary Spice, she was seriously unimpressed. She had been tempted to demand the role. To say that if she couldn't be Scary Spice, maybe she wouldn't perform at all.

In hindsight though, it isn't quite so bad. In fact, it's starting to look like a good thing.

Throughout the performance, Unique notices that she is the only one that Ryder watches. As she sits down next to him, he leans toward her.

"Baby Spice was always my favourite," he whispers, conspiratorial.

Unique responds with a wide-eyed innocent expression as she sucks on her lollipop. And she absolutely does not miss the way that makes Ryder blush.

Maybe this crush is reciprocated after all.

"Are you really going to go tell him?" Marley asks. They're standing outside the auditorium, just before the secret glee meeting. Unique is planning on blowing that off, as well as the mandatory assembly the rest of the club is skipping.

"I feel like I have to," Unique tells her. "After everything yesterday, life just feels too short."

"I know what you mean."

Unique really doesn't want to dwell on the lockdown. "Wish me luck," she tells Marley.

"You're going to be fine."

Unique really hopes she's right.

It's only a short walk to the spot where she agreed to meet Ryder. He's already waiting there, craning his head in every direction. She's still a long way off when he spots her.

"Unique?" he asks.

"Aka Katie," she replies, coming to a stop in front of him.

"It's really you?"

Unique nods. "Is that – is that ok?"

"Of course it's ok." He's smiling.

Unique smiles back. "I was worried you'd be disappointed."

Ryder shakes his head. "I like you, Unique."

"Even though I'm trans?"

"It did take a bit of soul-searching," he admits. "And I'll probably mess up a bunch more. But I'm glad you're Katie."

She smiles. "You could just call me Unique."

"Well, yea." He reaches forward to take her hand. "Will you go on a date with me?"

"Of course."

She's barely said the words when Ryder is leaning forward, kissing her. It's a chaste kiss, but one full of promise and hope.

Then, the two of them walk hand in hand to the auditorium, just like any other straight couple at McKinley.


End file.
